Workout

I've joined a gym. It's called Fitness 10 and it's located just a few blocks away from my office. Now I have no excuse not to go every single day after work. Truthfully, I am quite intimidated by the gym scene, especially this particular one. Before CEF of Little Rock I used to work for the Y and had a free membership to their facilities. There is nothing overtly intimidating about little old ladies walking on treadmills, or men of a certain age pathetically lifting five pound weights. Now, I'm the pathetic one.

For some reason this gym is staffed by super athletic people, girls whose waist are about the size of nothing, and guys whose biceps are bigger than their heads. I don't like this. It's obscene to be that much in shape. To make matters worse, this gym is also populated by all of the most attractive guys in North Little Rock who I imagine are having this conversation all the time in their heads: "YEA! I LOVE WORKING OUT!" or "YEA! I LOOK GOOD!" or "YEA!" followed by the sound of crickets, because really, any persons that ripped must not be very deep. But I digress.

The conversations in my head are nothing like theirs. My conversations go something like this: "YEA! I LOVE BROWNIES, AND I ONLY WORKOUT SO I CAN EAT MORE OF THEM WITHOUT DYING!" or "I HATE IT HERE!" or (when I have to walk by the attractive guys) "I NEED NEW WORKOUT CLOTHES, MAYBE A BURKA!" Yes, I am all kinds of pathetic.

In moments like that last one, where I have to walk by all of those attractive, ripped, semi-intelligent guys, I wish my best girlfriends were here with me. Preferably Amanda, because I always have so much fun with her at the gym, or Joanna, whose primary goal in going to the gym is to see how slowly she can petal the stationary bike while listening to her I-Pod. She almost always succeeds. Of course, they don't really have to worry about working out, being size 6 and 8 respectively. Again, I digress.

But I guess the gym really isn't so bad. Perhaps by the time this year is up I'll be skinner. That, or my self-esteem will have taken a sharp nose dive. Either way, it will probably be good for me. You know what's not good for me, though? The crunch machine. My abs are killing me. Seriously, I feel like I have the stomach flu and have been violently ill for the last twenty-four hours. I wonder if this is what those attractive guys feel like all the time, or the girls who have no waist? I feel so bad for them. I think I'll go bake them some brownies.