Little Rock '09

I'm currently surrounded by about one hundred full-time, part-time, and volunteer CEF workers. They have descended for two weeks on the city for the summer outreach that is Little Rock '09. CEF is targeting key cities across the United States every summer from here until, well, until every major city has on-going ministry to their children. Last year they ministered in Chicago and left behind a full-time worker named Kathy. This year is Little Rock and they are leaving me behind to continue the work.

There is something so sweet about being surround by like-minded people, and humbling as well. Yesterday I had the opportunity to visit several club sites and meet people from the churches I'll be working with in the fall. I am already in love with the people of Little Rock. Sunday I spent most of the day with representatives from two major African-American churches in Little Rock and I just loved them. Little Rock is surprisingly urban. In fact, there was a debate (still on-going) as to whether I should be allowed to travel by myself to club sites because I am a "white girl in gangland". I voted yes, but male leadership voted no. We'll see.

This week we have upwards of twenty-fve teams each teaching three 5-day Clubs a day. Yesterday we had over one thousand children attend clubs with fifty salvations. There are some hurting kids in Little Rock. Please keep us in your prayers, and thanks to everyone who prayed (and is praying) that I'll survive this time, now and throughout the year. By God's grace, I think I'm going to make it.

I Left My Heart in Little Rock?

This week is our urban focus week for 5-day Clubs. Loosely translated this means I'm kickin' it in the 'hood with my summer missionaries. We've already had a fabulous time teaching together this week; I really love St. Louis and the people here. However, a huge part of me wants to be down in Arkansas right now for Little Rock '09 which began last night. I leave on Friday morning (as early as I can without it actually being Thursday night).

I am just so anxious to start this ministry and meet the people who will consume so much of my life for the next year. Also, I've heard from CEF family already there about how great Little Rock is and it makes me even more anxious to experience it for myself! This is a wonderment to me though - everyone keeps telling me how Little Rock is going to steal my heart. Do they know something I don't? Perhaps I'll have to change the name of this blog once I get down there...

One More Month: The Countdown Begins

One month from today I'll start my adventures in Arkansas! Seriously, I can't wait. I had dinner with a friend last night and as I shared with her the ways that I have seen God led me through this whole process I just had to shake my head in amazement. God is so much better to me than I deserve. I always struggle with that notion, but I know I'm building the argument on a false premise: I have never deserved good things, only death. The gifts that I enjoy and often take for granted are gifts of grace purchased for me by the death of Jesus and applied by the Holy Spirit. "Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling."

It's been a rough couple of months for me spiritually and emotionally. I spent most of yesterday packing away my belongings into boxes and dividing them into piles - what will stay and what will go. I feel like I need to do the same thing spiritually - what will stay in my life and what needs to be exhumed and thrown away. My heart gets so cluttered, so quickly, with non-essentials. Even last night I had to repent for allowing other things besides God's Word to be the final authority in my life and dictate how I behave - my circumstances, relationships with friends and family, even good books that I read (yes, Karen, I could be admitting that I love John Piper too much!).

I need to fall in love with my Bible again and take time to mediate and pray over it. I need to realize that I won't miss anything if I take the time to make God and His Word the ultimate priority - and authority - in my life. In fact, He's guaranteed it.

Side note: Earlier I linked to this website and it made me cry and cry. I was inspired and convicted by their (particularly Larissa's) perseverance in prayer and willingness to submit to God's will whatever the outcome - even if He doesn't answer their prayers in the way they desperately hope He will. It reminded me that sometimes God calls you to stand for a very, very long time.

Adventures in French Cooking

Recently I've been reading a book called My Life in France by Julia Child. This has cultivated in me a deep desire to move to France and spend my days cooking and wandering around the streets of Paris saying things like "eh bein, tant pis" accompanied by deep sighs and graceful hand gestures. Of course it is quite impossible for me to do this. So instead of becoming depressed by an unfulfilled dream, I decided to live the la bella France way of life here in the States.

First, you start with a good friend and a bottle of wine.

An official recipe by the venerable Julia Child.

A few pounds of onions. Lots and lots of onions.

After cutting up the onions and shoving them as best you can into a large pot, add wine, butter (Julia Child would never use margarine!), beef stock, and a few cloves of garlic. Reduce and cook for an hour of so, ladle into bowls, and sprinkle liberally with shredded Jarlsberg cheese. There you have it: a delicious authentically French meal.

Put on a good movie (or documentary of a crazy nun, as the case may be) and give the rest of the wine to the little black doggie.

I can't think of a better way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon!

Drive by

Last week I supervised a few summer missionaries teaching a 5-day Club on a street called Cates in North St. Louis. I loved this club and particularly the neighborhood where the club was held. Today I learned there was a drive by shooting a few yards from where the club was held. Wow! I am so thankful that the gospel was preached there. So very, very thankful.

Backsliding

Well, I'm back to my Facebook habit.

I blame this backsliding on my friend Karen who allowed me to view her Facebook page this weekend and on my friend Joanna who refused to e-mail me her funny Egypt stories.

I think I need an intervention with Sister Helen.

Little Boys

My little brother Joel turns sixteen today. I can hardly believe it. I still remember him as a little bitty guy with a head full of blond curls and a mischievous grin on his pink-cheeked face. At night he would follow me around the house in his little footy pajamas until I gave him his bedtime "baba" (bottle). His giggle of delight made me giggle.

Now his voice is too deep to giggle and he doesn't follow me around the house anymore but just opens the refrigerator door and drinks milk straight from the carton. When I stand next to my teenage brothers and their friends I feel dwarfed. Things have turned around and I miss my younger siblings as babies. Most of my teenage years were spent with one or the other of them on my hip. Now they are teenagers themselves and a lot of the fun of care giving is over and done. I made chocolate chip cookies last night and this morning I found my brothers and their friend standing around the plate rapidly inhaling them, passing the jug of milk back and forth to fill their glasses (at least some semblance of civility, right?). It gave me a deep kind of pleasure.

Yesterday afternoon while talking with a little boy named Jamel at a 5-day Club in the city, I had the distinct joy of seeing his beautiful face break into a wide grin: I had just told him how glad I was to see him. He then recited his memory verse to me with a look for supreme concentration before joining the other boys for a game. As club started I observed the neighborhood. Men who use to be little boys walked by and stared. I sat and wondered what kind of little boys they had been, and then wondered what kind of men they had turned into. Did they love Jesus? Judging by their behavior, probably not. What a waste. Is this what Jamel has to look forward to?

I feel a deep burden for the boys in my clubs and my church and my family. I want them to grow up loving Jesus with all their hearts. So many, many men do not. But then again, I know a few men - good and godly men - who do. I am thankful for the men who take seriously the difficult task of loving Jesus with all their heart. It gives me hope to keep on praying and loving and baking chocolate chip cookies for all the men in my life who are still on the way.