Little Boys

My little brother Joel turns sixteen today. I can hardly believe it. I still remember him as a little bitty guy with a head full of blond curls and a mischievous grin on his pink-cheeked face. At night he would follow me around the house in his little footy pajamas until I gave him his bedtime "baba" (bottle). His giggle of delight made me giggle.

Now his voice is too deep to giggle and he doesn't follow me around the house anymore but just opens the refrigerator door and drinks milk straight from the carton. When I stand next to my teenage brothers and their friends I feel dwarfed. Things have turned around and I miss my younger siblings as babies. Most of my teenage years were spent with one or the other of them on my hip. Now they are teenagers themselves and a lot of the fun of care giving is over and done. I made chocolate chip cookies last night and this morning I found my brothers and their friend standing around the plate rapidly inhaling them, passing the jug of milk back and forth to fill their glasses (at least some semblance of civility, right?). It gave me a deep kind of pleasure.

Yesterday afternoon while talking with a little boy named Jamel at a 5-day Club in the city, I had the distinct joy of seeing his beautiful face break into a wide grin: I had just told him how glad I was to see him. He then recited his memory verse to me with a look for supreme concentration before joining the other boys for a game. As club started I observed the neighborhood. Men who use to be little boys walked by and stared. I sat and wondered what kind of little boys they had been, and then wondered what kind of men they had turned into. Did they love Jesus? Judging by their behavior, probably not. What a waste. Is this what Jamel has to look forward to?

I feel a deep burden for the boys in my clubs and my church and my family. I want them to grow up loving Jesus with all their hearts. So many, many men do not. But then again, I know a few men - good and godly men - who do. I am thankful for the men who take seriously the difficult task of loving Jesus with all their heart. It gives me hope to keep on praying and loving and baking chocolate chip cookies for all the men in my life who are still on the way.