One month from today I'll start my adventures in Arkansas! Seriously, I can't wait. I had dinner with a friend last night and as I shared with her the ways that I have seen God led me through this whole process I just had to shake my head in amazement. God is so much better to me than I deserve. I always struggle with that notion, but I know I'm building the argument on a false premise: I have never deserved good things, only death. The gifts that I enjoy and often take for granted are gifts of grace purchased for me by the death of Jesus and applied by the Holy Spirit. "Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling."
It's been a rough couple of months for me spiritually and emotionally. I spent most of yesterday packing away my belongings into boxes and dividing them into piles - what will stay and what will go. I feel like I need to do the same thing spiritually - what will stay in my life and what needs to be exhumed and thrown away. My heart gets so cluttered, so quickly, with non-essentials. Even last night I had to repent for allowing other things besides God's Word to be the final authority in my life and dictate how I behave - my circumstances, relationships with friends and family, even good books that I read (yes, Karen, I could be admitting that I love John Piper too much!).
I need to fall in love with my Bible again and take time to mediate and pray over it. I need to realize that I won't miss anything if I take the time to make God and His Word the ultimate priority - and authority - in my life. In fact, He's guaranteed it.
Side note: Earlier I linked to this website and it made me cry and cry. I was inspired and convicted by their (particularly Larissa's) perseverance in prayer and willingness to submit to God's will whatever the outcome - even if He doesn't answer their prayers in the way they desperately hope He will. It reminded me that sometimes God calls you to stand for a very, very long time.
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