All the News Worth Hearing

Posting on this blog is so far down my to-do list I can hardly see it. However, since it gives me pleasure to write, and because I need to sort out my thoughts a little bit, I thought I would update today. Currently, this is all the news worth hearing in my life...

The target date for beginning my year of service in full-time ministry is August 17th. By then I will be ensconced in a big blue farmhouse somewhere near the city limits of Little Rock. Since I last gave a "real" update, my support level has increased by $10,000 thanks to a generous donation by CEF of East Texas. I am currently entrenched in the whole support raising process and it is progressing well. It is laughable to say I know God wants me in Little Rock with all the evidence to support this claim. I feel so unworthy of all that has been done on my behalf precisely because I have been dragging my feet throughout the whole process.

As I talked with a ministry represenative from CEF she commented on what an "enviable" position I am in within the ministry of CEF. I know it to my very core. I have unsuccessfully raised personal support and unsuccessfully taken myself off the field because of it. God has been gracious - more than I deserve or dared to imagine - in pursuing me for service in missions. Ministry has always been my heart, but I had wanted it to be outside the confines of full-time service. This is apparently not what God wants, and He has been so gracious in bringing me back, much like a prodigal, to the place He wants me to be. I have also found, like the prodigal, a fattened calf, and wide-open arms from my family in the ministry. These are all things I do not deserve.

Have I made that clear? My just desserts are not what I am receiving. I say this as much to remind myself as to share with you. I am slowly learning to serve Jesus, not so He will serve and love me, but because He already has served and loved me. I have had this backwards for most of my life. I do not know how long God intends for me to be in full-time ministry with CEF or any other organization, I only know that I cannot imagine spending my time on anything other than eternity.