For Karen, my Reformed buddy
"However many blessings we expect from God,
His infinite liberality will always exceed
all our wishes and our thoughts.”
John Calvin, 1509-1564
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Workout
I've joined a gym. It's called Fitness 10 and it's located just a few blocks away from my office. Now I have no excuse not to go every single day after work. Truthfully, I am quite intimidated by the gym scene, especially this particular one. Before CEF of Little Rock I used to work for the Y and had a free membership to their facilities. There is nothing overtly intimidating about little old ladies walking on treadmills, or men of a certain age pathetically lifting five pound weights. Now, I'm the pathetic one.
For some reason this gym is staffed by super athletic people, girls whose waist are about the size of nothing, and guys whose biceps are bigger than their heads. I don't like this. It's obscene to be that much in shape. To make matters worse, this gym is also populated by all of the most attractive guys in North Little Rock who I imagine are having this conversation all the time in their heads: "YEA! I LOVE WORKING OUT!" or "YEA! I LOOK GOOD!" or "YEA!" followed by the sound of crickets, because really, any persons that ripped must not be very deep. But I digress.
The conversations in my head are nothing like theirs. My conversations go something like this: "YEA! I LOVE BROWNIES, AND I ONLY WORKOUT SO I CAN EAT MORE OF THEM WITHOUT DYING!" or "I HATE IT HERE!" or (when I have to walk by the attractive guys) "I NEED NEW WORKOUT CLOTHES, MAYBE A BURKA!" Yes, I am all kinds of pathetic.
In moments like that last one, where I have to walk by all of those attractive, ripped, semi-intelligent guys, I wish my best girlfriends were here with me. Preferably Amanda, because I always have so much fun with her at the gym, or Joanna, whose primary goal in going to the gym is to see how slowly she can petal the stationary bike while listening to her I-Pod. She almost always succeeds. Of course, they don't really have to worry about working out, being size 6 and 8 respectively. Again, I digress.
But I guess the gym really isn't so bad. Perhaps by the time this year is up I'll be skinner. That, or my self-esteem will have taken a sharp nose dive. Either way, it will probably be good for me. You know what's not good for me, though? The crunch machine. My abs are killing me. Seriously, I feel like I have the stomach flu and have been violently ill for the last twenty-four hours. I wonder if this is what those attractive guys feel like all the time, or the girls who have no waist? I feel so bad for them. I think I'll go bake them some brownies.
For some reason this gym is staffed by super athletic people, girls whose waist are about the size of nothing, and guys whose biceps are bigger than their heads. I don't like this. It's obscene to be that much in shape. To make matters worse, this gym is also populated by all of the most attractive guys in North Little Rock who I imagine are having this conversation all the time in their heads: "YEA! I LOVE WORKING OUT!" or "YEA! I LOOK GOOD!" or "YEA!" followed by the sound of crickets, because really, any persons that ripped must not be very deep. But I digress.
The conversations in my head are nothing like theirs. My conversations go something like this: "YEA! I LOVE BROWNIES, AND I ONLY WORKOUT SO I CAN EAT MORE OF THEM WITHOUT DYING!" or "I HATE IT HERE!" or (when I have to walk by the attractive guys) "I NEED NEW WORKOUT CLOTHES, MAYBE A BURKA!" Yes, I am all kinds of pathetic.
In moments like that last one, where I have to walk by all of those attractive, ripped, semi-intelligent guys, I wish my best girlfriends were here with me. Preferably Amanda, because I always have so much fun with her at the gym, or Joanna, whose primary goal in going to the gym is to see how slowly she can petal the stationary bike while listening to her I-Pod. She almost always succeeds. Of course, they don't really have to worry about working out, being size 6 and 8 respectively. Again, I digress.
But I guess the gym really isn't so bad. Perhaps by the time this year is up I'll be skinner. That, or my self-esteem will have taken a sharp nose dive. Either way, it will probably be good for me. You know what's not good for me, though? The crunch machine. My abs are killing me. Seriously, I feel like I have the stomach flu and have been violently ill for the last twenty-four hours. I wonder if this is what those attractive guys feel like all the time, or the girls who have no waist? I feel so bad for them. I think I'll go bake them some brownies.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Update from Arkansas
It's been too long since I've posted on my lonely little blog. Who knows if anybody actually reads this thing, but it's too cathartic for me to give up entirely. I have had time to post on this blog, just not the inclination. I think I've finally settled into my new life in Little Rock, and besides some minor irritations, pretty content with it.
I have found that in ministry it is pretty east to get so busy that you begin to neglect your own personal relationship with God. That's where I've found myself lately. This morning was the first morning in a few weeks in which I actually had more than just obligatory devotions (which are really no devotions at all). Conviction abounded today in many areas of my life. It is so easy to ignore the Holy Spirit, scarily easy. But conviction is one of God's greatest grace to His children. There are a lot of ares in my life that are not lining up with how God says I should live life. When you think about it, you can pray for me. My relationship with God is so much more important than any "ministry" that I could contribute to this world. What's that verse in John? "This is eternal life, that they may know You, the one true God." Yeah, that should be what my life is about - knowing God.
Well, I think I've found the church, my church, the church that I want to invest in while I'm living in Arkansas. The church is a plant of the PCA, and they meet in a cute little refurbished building in downtown Conway. The congregation is only about forty all told. On mnight I went to a ladies small group where they discuss the sermon and pray for each other. The other ladies (5) are all married, so we're in different seasons in life, but they were so warm and welcoming, honest and transparent, that I felt immediately at home. They prayed for me, and loved on me, and made me laugh so throughly that I couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with them. I'll be having lunch with the pastor and his wife soon, where I hope to borrow from his vast library (when she heard I was a theology nerd his wife commanded me not to buy anymore books because "Kevin has all you would ever want to read!"), and hear his Biblical basis for infant baptistm.
I'm still trying to figure out why God has me here. Is that strange? I feel privileged to be here, working toward the spread of the gospel, but sometimes other desires get in the way. I'm praying that God will be all of my desire and delight. God is so good to me. I just need to remember that He cares about my holiness and joy in Him, more than in the fleeting comforts I find so important.
That's all for tonight, folks. Goodnight, y'all!
I have found that in ministry it is pretty east to get so busy that you begin to neglect your own personal relationship with God. That's where I've found myself lately. This morning was the first morning in a few weeks in which I actually had more than just obligatory devotions (which are really no devotions at all). Conviction abounded today in many areas of my life. It is so easy to ignore the Holy Spirit, scarily easy. But conviction is one of God's greatest grace to His children. There are a lot of ares in my life that are not lining up with how God says I should live life. When you think about it, you can pray for me. My relationship with God is so much more important than any "ministry" that I could contribute to this world. What's that verse in John? "This is eternal life, that they may know You, the one true God." Yeah, that should be what my life is about - knowing God.
Well, I think I've found the church, my church, the church that I want to invest in while I'm living in Arkansas. The church is a plant of the PCA, and they meet in a cute little refurbished building in downtown Conway. The congregation is only about forty all told. On mnight I went to a ladies small group where they discuss the sermon and pray for each other. The other ladies (5) are all married, so we're in different seasons in life, but they were so warm and welcoming, honest and transparent, that I felt immediately at home. They prayed for me, and loved on me, and made me laugh so throughly that I couldn't help but fall a little bit in love with them. I'll be having lunch with the pastor and his wife soon, where I hope to borrow from his vast library (when she heard I was a theology nerd his wife commanded me not to buy anymore books because "Kevin has all you would ever want to read!"), and hear his Biblical basis for infant baptistm.
I'm still trying to figure out why God has me here. Is that strange? I feel privileged to be here, working toward the spread of the gospel, but sometimes other desires get in the way. I'm praying that God will be all of my desire and delight. God is so good to me. I just need to remember that He cares about my holiness and joy in Him, more than in the fleeting comforts I find so important.
That's all for tonight, folks. Goodnight, y'all!
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