Enough

Today was a beautiful day.

After what feels like weeks, months, years of constant rain here in central Arkansas, it was nice to see an endless stretch of clear blue sky. I drove along the main road of downtown and admired the red maples planted in steady intervals along the street. I spent some time browsing the shelves of a used bookstore, although I came away empty-handed. I felt too restless to seriously consider any of the offerings found there.

I love this adventure I am on. I love the people I am meeting. I love my job. I love the fact that yesterday we got official permission from the Little Rock School District to hold Good News Clubs in the schools. I love my church. I love the beauty of central Arkansas. But I do not love everything here. Some things about this new life are hard, and make me feel restless. Mostly the fact that I am surrounded by strange and unfamiliar people and places. Mostly the fact that I can't go over to my best friend's house and talk the night away with her, or drop by my mom's house, eat a little dinner, and complain about the little I have to complain about in life.

I am a fairly independent person. In fact, I have always wanted to move to a completely new city where no one knows me and build a life. Well, I guess my dream came true. Only, I would like someone to go to the movies with now. But perhaps that is the price I pay for this experience. This for that. A little loneliness for a year of new experiences in a new city. At any rate, it has definitely been a stretching experience.

There are things to love and hate here, as in any place or season of life. I am learning, fitfully, sometimes faithlessly, to be content. I know God has guided me here, and it's not a perfect place where all my dreams are coming true, but another place where He is teaching and refining me. There is nothing mystical about it, only getting up day-by-day to live by faith and learn (or maybe I should say re-learn) that He is enough.

I gotta preach to myself sometimes, you know?