Am I being held up by Obama? Why yes, yes I am. HIL-arious.
Well, we might not agree on everything (me and Obama, that is) but I hope when my supporters see me and Obama together they pray for us.
The Lord knows we both need it.
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Prayer. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Me and Obama
I was over at the house (the t-house to be exact) of a few of my ministry supporters the other week and I spotted my prayer card on their refrigerator.
Am I being held up by Obama? Why yes, yes I am. HIL-arious.
Well, we might not agree on everything (me and Obama, that is) but I hope when my supporters see me and Obama together they pray for us.
The Lord knows we both need it.
Am I being held up by Obama? Why yes, yes I am. HIL-arious.
Well, we might not agree on everything (me and Obama, that is) but I hope when my supporters see me and Obama together they pray for us.
The Lord knows we both need it.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The House You're Building
It's a good exercise to remember my complete inability and unloveliness before the Able and Lovely. It's a better exercise to soak in His love and forget about myself.
"All my life you've been calling me to a home You know I've been needing...I'm a broken stone, so lay me in the house You're building..."
For while we were still weak,
at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
- Romans 5:6
"All my life you've been calling me to a home You know I've been needing...I'm a broken stone, so lay me in the house You're building..."
For while we were still weak,
at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
- Romans 5:6
Monday, April 12, 2010
Decisions
Decision, decisions. Why are they so hard to make?
Today I was blessed with another phone call from a dear friend helping me to think through the big decision that lays before me. I confessed to her just how much fear I feel in completely relinquishing the direction of my life to God. I am just so afraid that what He has for me will not be enough.
How awful does that sound? I am holding onto my life because I mistakenly assume it will safer in my own hands, than in His. Of course, the truth that God's way is perfect is a lot easier to acknowledge when it's on the pages of Scripture, than when it comes bursting into my personal life, demanding it's rights, demanding that I bow to it's truth.
But God does have rights over me. I have been bought with a price; I am not my own. I could sing of Your love forever...until it asks me to count the cost. Yesterday as I was talking with Joanna, we had almost decided that I could do whatever I wanted, until I remembered and quoted the verse: "If you love mother or father more than Me, you are not worthy of Me." All Joanna could say was "dang it!" Dang it, indeed.
I came across this quotation in a book by Amy Carmichael while thinking and praying over this decision. For me I think it pretty much comes down to this:
"If we refuse to be corns of wheat falling into the ground and dying; if we will neither sacrifice prospects, nor risk character, and property and health, nor, when we are called, relinquish home and break family ties, for Christ's sake and His gospel, then we shall abide alone...of all the plans for securing success the most certain is Christ's own, becoming a corn of wheat, falling into the ground and dying." - Thomas Gejaten Ragland
This quote hits me so hard because I am dazzled by success. It is definitely an idol in my life. I want to be successful, but more importantly, I want to be thought successful. This present course than I am on, as far as I can see, affords me none of the success that I so ardently crave. But why do I crave this worldly success? Is it an attempt to earn acceptance? I think so. And I am dismayed by this truth. If only it were easier to grasp the fact that I am accepted in Christ, and His acceptance is all that truly matters.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm sharing all of this. Hopefully, it will help someone else think about counting the cost of obedience. Or give them hope that they aren't the only ones who struggle with surrender. Because, quite frankly, I'm reading through missionary biographies, and they all seem to be running toward the field. But what if you're sort of plodding toward the field, hoping God may change His mind? Is that okay, too? I don't know, but I don't want to be a Jonah. I think I sort of wrestled with this when the call first came to come to Arkansas, only then, it was for a year, whereas now, who knows? This is a much bigger reality to me. A year of my life? Okay. The rest of my life? Can I get back to you on that?
But it's not, of course, only a matter of the mission field. It's a matter of my whole life. Am I willing to surrender my whole life my whole lifelong to God's plans for me? Scary. Very, very scary.
I don't know what God is teaching me through all this, but I do know that He has shown me some places in my life where I need to repent of my pride and bad attitudes and come to a renewed trust in His sovereignty AND a humility which trustingly accepts that His ways are better than mine. Perhaps through all of this, He will work in my heart a renewed vigor for the mission field that used to be there when I was nine (also, I sort of want to go back in time to the nine year old me and say "hey, knock it off, kid!") and eighteen (again, I would say "stop. Stop being so starry-eyed!) but I sort of feel that, just as in salvation, some calls are irrevocable...and I just need to come to terms with it.
Oh, dear. If only there was some sort of formula for decision-making, but there's not. I'm trusting God to show me the way. I appreciate your prayers and your comments. And also those people who I can dump all of my hardest questions on and say "well, what do you make of that?". It's amazing to experience God's faithfulness and love through the love and faithfulness of others.
Decisions!
Today I was blessed with another phone call from a dear friend helping me to think through the big decision that lays before me. I confessed to her just how much fear I feel in completely relinquishing the direction of my life to God. I am just so afraid that what He has for me will not be enough.
How awful does that sound? I am holding onto my life because I mistakenly assume it will safer in my own hands, than in His. Of course, the truth that God's way is perfect is a lot easier to acknowledge when it's on the pages of Scripture, than when it comes bursting into my personal life, demanding it's rights, demanding that I bow to it's truth.
But God does have rights over me. I have been bought with a price; I am not my own. I could sing of Your love forever...until it asks me to count the cost. Yesterday as I was talking with Joanna, we had almost decided that I could do whatever I wanted, until I remembered and quoted the verse: "If you love mother or father more than Me, you are not worthy of Me." All Joanna could say was "dang it!" Dang it, indeed.
I came across this quotation in a book by Amy Carmichael while thinking and praying over this decision. For me I think it pretty much comes down to this:
"If we refuse to be corns of wheat falling into the ground and dying; if we will neither sacrifice prospects, nor risk character, and property and health, nor, when we are called, relinquish home and break family ties, for Christ's sake and His gospel, then we shall abide alone...of all the plans for securing success the most certain is Christ's own, becoming a corn of wheat, falling into the ground and dying." - Thomas Gejaten Ragland
This quote hits me so hard because I am dazzled by success. It is definitely an idol in my life. I want to be successful, but more importantly, I want to be thought successful. This present course than I am on, as far as I can see, affords me none of the success that I so ardently crave. But why do I crave this worldly success? Is it an attempt to earn acceptance? I think so. And I am dismayed by this truth. If only it were easier to grasp the fact that I am accepted in Christ, and His acceptance is all that truly matters.
Honestly, I don't know why I'm sharing all of this. Hopefully, it will help someone else think about counting the cost of obedience. Or give them hope that they aren't the only ones who struggle with surrender. Because, quite frankly, I'm reading through missionary biographies, and they all seem to be running toward the field. But what if you're sort of plodding toward the field, hoping God may change His mind? Is that okay, too? I don't know, but I don't want to be a Jonah. I think I sort of wrestled with this when the call first came to come to Arkansas, only then, it was for a year, whereas now, who knows? This is a much bigger reality to me. A year of my life? Okay. The rest of my life? Can I get back to you on that?
But it's not, of course, only a matter of the mission field. It's a matter of my whole life. Am I willing to surrender my whole life my whole lifelong to God's plans for me? Scary. Very, very scary.
I don't know what God is teaching me through all this, but I do know that He has shown me some places in my life where I need to repent of my pride and bad attitudes and come to a renewed trust in His sovereignty AND a humility which trustingly accepts that His ways are better than mine. Perhaps through all of this, He will work in my heart a renewed vigor for the mission field that used to be there when I was nine (also, I sort of want to go back in time to the nine year old me and say "hey, knock it off, kid!") and eighteen (again, I would say "stop. Stop being so starry-eyed!) but I sort of feel that, just as in salvation, some calls are irrevocable...and I just need to come to terms with it.
Oh, dear. If only there was some sort of formula for decision-making, but there's not. I'm trusting God to show me the way. I appreciate your prayers and your comments. And also those people who I can dump all of my hardest questions on and say "well, what do you make of that?". It's amazing to experience God's faithfulness and love through the love and faithfulness of others.
Decisions!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
International Women's Day
Apparently, yesterday was International Women's Day. Personally, I view this as a little piece of nonsense. I'm not sure why we feel the need to almost deify our gender, to blow our accomplishments out of all normal proportion, but there is something to be said for knowing your place and staying in it.
I am not a feminist in the most popular sense of the word, but I do believe women have unrecognized power. Unrecognized by ourselves alone. I think we should be capitalizing on the power with which God in His sovereign wisdom has endowed us, but sadly, we want, not our own, but someone else's power. I think this a sad state of affairs.
I understand that there is oppression and exploitation of women all over the world today, but this is true for many people groups, cultures, and races, not just women. I think the biggest offenders in this area are women themselves. We have exploited and oppressed ourselves beyond anything a man could ever accomplish because of our refusal to recognize and rejoice in God's created order.
Or course there are days when I think "boys are dumb!", because, well, they sometimes are, but there are just as many days when I have to acknowledge my own sin against God; my rebellion against the way in which He created me to function; my inate "dumbness" (read: sin).
But getting back to the whole "power of women" thing, I took some time yesterday to dwell on the women who are, in my estimation, the most powerful. I would say that truthfully, I have grown up in a matriarchal society. The women in my family are powerful. As I think about my ancestors on both sides I see that the men have been mostly flakes. In fact, a few days ago I was looking up my original maiden name (before I was adopted at age nine) and a picture of my uncle Frank popped up. He is a sex offender. My dad died when I was five because he was a drug addict and an alcoholic. The man my mother married when I was seven (and who later adopted me) is a porn addict who allowed his sin to destroy his marriage. I have heard stories of my grandfathers and great-grandfathers who were emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive to their wives and children. The women in my family have had to be strong to survive.
There have been no feminists in my family though. Only women of quiet simple faith resolved to do the right thing, even when it resulted in their own harm. They haven't been perfect, not by a long shot, but they have been faithful. My mother loves to tell us stories of her grandmother, Jessie, for whom my little sister is named. A woman who was married to a difficult man, but who was a woman of prayer. My mother is sure that she loves Jesus because of her grandmother's prayers. And I love Jesus because my mother loves Him, and so on. In His grace He has used the prayers of these righteous women to result in many physical and spiritual children.
I am thankful for such a godly heritage of women who knew their place and stayed in it, and not just my own family members, but my many spiritual mothers as well. I have been ridiculously blessed in this area. These women had (and have) such power over future generations because they submitted themselves in humility to God's plan for them. I pray that I am like them.
I have great hope, not only for the women in my family, but for my brothers as well. Truthfully, I pray for them more than I pray for my sisters, because I have a sneaking suspicion that Satan wants them more. I don't want to see another generation of men in my family weakened by sin and devoid of purpose, so I do what I can do as a woman to help them. I don't bash men simply for being men, but I point out what is true of all of us - we are sinners. Our problem is not our gender, but our nature. I strive to live out biblical womanhood before them so that they know what it looks like, and one day will marry a woman who will not be subordinate to them in their humanity, but mutually submissive to them in obedience to God's design.
There is great power in womanly submission, not only to husbands, but to God. I pray that more and more women tap into this power but it's too late. Happy International Women's Day!
I am not a feminist in the most popular sense of the word, but I do believe women have unrecognized power. Unrecognized by ourselves alone. I think we should be capitalizing on the power with which God in His sovereign wisdom has endowed us, but sadly, we want, not our own, but someone else's power. I think this a sad state of affairs.
I understand that there is oppression and exploitation of women all over the world today, but this is true for many people groups, cultures, and races, not just women. I think the biggest offenders in this area are women themselves. We have exploited and oppressed ourselves beyond anything a man could ever accomplish because of our refusal to recognize and rejoice in God's created order.
Or course there are days when I think "boys are dumb!", because, well, they sometimes are, but there are just as many days when I have to acknowledge my own sin against God; my rebellion against the way in which He created me to function; my inate "dumbness" (read: sin).
But getting back to the whole "power of women" thing, I took some time yesterday to dwell on the women who are, in my estimation, the most powerful. I would say that truthfully, I have grown up in a matriarchal society. The women in my family are powerful. As I think about my ancestors on both sides I see that the men have been mostly flakes. In fact, a few days ago I was looking up my original maiden name (before I was adopted at age nine) and a picture of my uncle Frank popped up. He is a sex offender. My dad died when I was five because he was a drug addict and an alcoholic. The man my mother married when I was seven (and who later adopted me) is a porn addict who allowed his sin to destroy his marriage. I have heard stories of my grandfathers and great-grandfathers who were emotionally, sexually, and physically abusive to their wives and children. The women in my family have had to be strong to survive.
There have been no feminists in my family though. Only women of quiet simple faith resolved to do the right thing, even when it resulted in their own harm. They haven't been perfect, not by a long shot, but they have been faithful. My mother loves to tell us stories of her grandmother, Jessie, for whom my little sister is named. A woman who was married to a difficult man, but who was a woman of prayer. My mother is sure that she loves Jesus because of her grandmother's prayers. And I love Jesus because my mother loves Him, and so on. In His grace He has used the prayers of these righteous women to result in many physical and spiritual children.
I am thankful for such a godly heritage of women who knew their place and stayed in it, and not just my own family members, but my many spiritual mothers as well. I have been ridiculously blessed in this area. These women had (and have) such power over future generations because they submitted themselves in humility to God's plan for them. I pray that I am like them.
I have great hope, not only for the women in my family, but for my brothers as well. Truthfully, I pray for them more than I pray for my sisters, because I have a sneaking suspicion that Satan wants them more. I don't want to see another generation of men in my family weakened by sin and devoid of purpose, so I do what I can do as a woman to help them. I don't bash men simply for being men, but I point out what is true of all of us - we are sinners. Our problem is not our gender, but our nature. I strive to live out biblical womanhood before them so that they know what it looks like, and one day will marry a woman who will not be subordinate to them in their humanity, but mutually submissive to them in obedience to God's design.
There is great power in womanly submission, not only to husbands, but to God. I pray that more and more women tap into this power but it's too late. Happy International Women's Day!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Taking Stock
Well, like it or not, I'm back in Little Rock.
That is what I tell myself "like it or not, Jeanne. You're back in Little Rock." Before Christmas break I was feeling worn out and discouraged. Like I was treading water, but not really getting anywhere, and my frustration level was at an all-time high. So I went to Missouri for a few weeks, and didn't think about any of it. Surprisingly, it didn't all just disappear. What a shock.
But now that I'm back, it's time to take stock of the situation. It's the same for the most part. I did, however, manage to get in touch with a club coordinator who likes to Stonewall Jackson me and he sounded really glad to hear from me and even told me to "keep warm in this cold weather! Ha, ha, ha!". It was so strange that after I got off the phone I sat for a few minutes just staring into space, not quite certain if I had entered the Twilight Zone, or not. Body snatchers? I thought. Drugs? I don't know. It was a weird, but also very pleasant, surprise.
Earlier this week I got the "revelation" that we have five Good News Club going in the Little Rock area. Five! That's a 500% increase over last year. It's not thirty, which was the projected goal, but it is something. And every one of those clubs has a story, which, if I sat down and told you, you would probably be extremely bored by, but I know them, and that's enough. I know the coordinators, the teachers, the children. I've cried over them, prayed over them, laughed over them, wanted to curse over them a few times, and, well, enjoyed them.
Now I'm back in the saddle again, praying that God would soften my hardened and all-too-easily frustrated heart. As I said, every one of the clubs (five) and potential clubs (twenty), has a story. As a Type A, goal-oriented person it's hard for me not to view them as simply a check mark on my to-do list. I have a job to do, for pity sakes' , and I want to do it well. If you, partner church, don't get your act together, how will that happen? Sigh...
But these are churches made up of individuals with issues, hurts, joys, agendas, and also, sin. Just like me. Will we have thirty After-school Good News Clubs by the time I leave Little Rock? Doubtful. But as I've always suspected, ministry is meant to change me. And currently my heart is overwhelmed by the conviction that I haven't prayed enough for this ministry and the individual lives directly involved in it. It appears to me that most, if not all, of my effort over the past four months has been driven by my flesh instead of by the Spirit. This is, of course, to my shame.
I am currently pondering the verse from 1 Timothy which says to "discipline yourselves for the purpose of godliness", which includes the discipline of prayer, but more on that later. Much more. For now I am thankful that despite all of my effort, God has still seen fit to bless us with five Good News Clubs. Grace is abundant indeed.
Like it or not, I'm back in Little Rock! :)
That is what I tell myself "like it or not, Jeanne. You're back in Little Rock." Before Christmas break I was feeling worn out and discouraged. Like I was treading water, but not really getting anywhere, and my frustration level was at an all-time high. So I went to Missouri for a few weeks, and didn't think about any of it. Surprisingly, it didn't all just disappear. What a shock.
But now that I'm back, it's time to take stock of the situation. It's the same for the most part. I did, however, manage to get in touch with a club coordinator who likes to Stonewall Jackson me and he sounded really glad to hear from me and even told me to "keep warm in this cold weather! Ha, ha, ha!". It was so strange that after I got off the phone I sat for a few minutes just staring into space, not quite certain if I had entered the Twilight Zone, or not. Body snatchers? I thought. Drugs? I don't know. It was a weird, but also very pleasant, surprise.
Earlier this week I got the "revelation" that we have five Good News Club going in the Little Rock area. Five! That's a 500% increase over last year. It's not thirty, which was the projected goal, but it is something. And every one of those clubs has a story, which, if I sat down and told you, you would probably be extremely bored by, but I know them, and that's enough. I know the coordinators, the teachers, the children. I've cried over them, prayed over them, laughed over them, wanted to curse over them a few times, and, well, enjoyed them.
Now I'm back in the saddle again, praying that God would soften my hardened and all-too-easily frustrated heart. As I said, every one of the clubs (five) and potential clubs (twenty), has a story. As a Type A, goal-oriented person it's hard for me not to view them as simply a check mark on my to-do list. I have a job to do, for pity sakes' , and I want to do it well. If you, partner church, don't get your act together, how will that happen? Sigh...
But these are churches made up of individuals with issues, hurts, joys, agendas, and also, sin. Just like me. Will we have thirty After-school Good News Clubs by the time I leave Little Rock? Doubtful. But as I've always suspected, ministry is meant to change me. And currently my heart is overwhelmed by the conviction that I haven't prayed enough for this ministry and the individual lives directly involved in it. It appears to me that most, if not all, of my effort over the past four months has been driven by my flesh instead of by the Spirit. This is, of course, to my shame.
I am currently pondering the verse from 1 Timothy which says to "discipline yourselves for the purpose of godliness", which includes the discipline of prayer, but more on that later. Much more. For now I am thankful that despite all of my effort, God has still seen fit to bless us with five Good News Clubs. Grace is abundant indeed.
Like it or not, I'm back in Little Rock! :)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Gifts of God
This is a good reminder of the priorities of the kingdom of God. I confess I often forfeit the joy which would be mine for earthly baubles. Lord, I pray for the grace to turn away from those fleeting things to You, the true source of all true joy.
"God oftentimes withholds riches and honours,
and health of body from men...
Honours and riches and bodily strength are none of God's good things;
they are of the number of things indifferent which God bestows promiscuously upon the just and the unjust, as the rain to fall and the sun to shine.
The good things of God are chiefly peace of conscience
and the joy in the Holy Ghost in this life."
~ C. H. Spurgeon
Friday, July 17, 2009
One More Month: The Countdown Begins
One month from today I'll start my adventures in Arkansas! Seriously, I can't wait. I had dinner with a friend last night and as I shared with her the ways that I have seen God led me through this whole process I just had to shake my head in amazement. God is so much better to me than I deserve. I always struggle with that notion, but I know I'm building the argument on a false premise: I have never deserved good things, only death. The gifts that I enjoy and often take for granted are gifts of grace purchased for me by the death of Jesus and applied by the Holy Spirit. "Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling."
It's been a rough couple of months for me spiritually and emotionally. I spent most of yesterday packing away my belongings into boxes and dividing them into piles - what will stay and what will go. I feel like I need to do the same thing spiritually - what will stay in my life and what needs to be exhumed and thrown away. My heart gets so cluttered, so quickly, with non-essentials. Even last night I had to repent for allowing other things besides God's Word to be the final authority in my life and dictate how I behave - my circumstances, relationships with friends and family, even good books that I read (yes, Karen, I could be admitting that I love John Piper too much!).
I need to fall in love with my Bible again and take time to mediate and pray over it. I need to realize that I won't miss anything if I take the time to make God and His Word the ultimate priority - and authority - in my life. In fact, He's guaranteed it.
Side note: Earlier I linked to this website and it made me cry and cry. I was inspired and convicted by their (particularly Larissa's) perseverance in prayer and willingness to submit to God's will whatever the outcome - even if He doesn't answer their prayers in the way they desperately hope He will. It reminded me that sometimes God calls you to stand for a very, very long time.
It's been a rough couple of months for me spiritually and emotionally. I spent most of yesterday packing away my belongings into boxes and dividing them into piles - what will stay and what will go. I feel like I need to do the same thing spiritually - what will stay in my life and what needs to be exhumed and thrown away. My heart gets so cluttered, so quickly, with non-essentials. Even last night I had to repent for allowing other things besides God's Word to be the final authority in my life and dictate how I behave - my circumstances, relationships with friends and family, even good books that I read (yes, Karen, I could be admitting that I love John Piper too much!).
I need to fall in love with my Bible again and take time to mediate and pray over it. I need to realize that I won't miss anything if I take the time to make God and His Word the ultimate priority - and authority - in my life. In fact, He's guaranteed it.
Side note: Earlier I linked to this website and it made me cry and cry. I was inspired and convicted by their (particularly Larissa's) perseverance in prayer and willingness to submit to God's will whatever the outcome - even if He doesn't answer their prayers in the way they desperately hope He will. It reminded me that sometimes God calls you to stand for a very, very long time.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Vent
I'm so stressed out this week, and today I am super cranky. I just walked into the CEF office to find piles of work on my desk that weren't there yesterday when I left. I really don't have time to write anything on here, but I wanted to vent just a little. I thought this would be easier, but it isn't. I've been crying out to God to change my heart and give me the grace to obey regardless of how I feel. On days like this my brother reminds me that being a Christian doesn't exempt me from my humanity. Sometimes I get a bad attitude because I think it should. Psalm 16 is my meditation today. It is so easy when I am stressed out to reach for physical, solid things to comfort me. It is such a struggle to keep my eyes on the Unseen and have faith that at His right hand there really are pleasures forevermore.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A Prayer and Other Thoughts
"O Lord, by all Thy dealings with us,
whether of joy or pain,
of light or darkness,
let us be brought to Thee.
Let us value no treatment of Thy grace
simply because it makes us happy
or because it makes us sad,
because it gives us or denies us what we want;
but may all that Thou sendest us bring us to Thee,
that, knowing Thy perfectness,
we may be sure in every disappointment that Thou art still loving us,
and in every darkness that Thou art still enlightening us,
and in every enforced idleness that Thou are still using us;
yea, in every death that Thou art still giving us life,
as in His death Thou didst give to Thy Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."
~ Phillips Brooks
whether of joy or pain,
of light or darkness,
let us be brought to Thee.
Let us value no treatment of Thy grace
simply because it makes us happy
or because it makes us sad,
because it gives us or denies us what we want;
but may all that Thou sendest us bring us to Thee,
that, knowing Thy perfectness,
we may be sure in every disappointment that Thou art still loving us,
and in every darkness that Thou art still enlightening us,
and in every enforced idleness that Thou are still using us;
yea, in every death that Thou art still giving us life,
as in His death Thou didst give to Thy Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen."
~ Phillips Brooks
This prayer came to mind the other day and I found it amidst scraps of other prayers and "inspiration" which I've collected over the years. I don't know why I thought of it, only maybe the Lord knows I need a reminder during this season: a reminder to submit to all that He brings into my life and not judge circumstances too quickly, as I am often prone to do. I find myself constantly saying 'well, this happy thing happened, so God must love me" or "this is painful, God must be unhappy with me". I know this is spiritual immaturity in it's most basic form, and I know better than to start with me. I must start with God and His truth (first, He loves me in Christ Jesus, then, because of this, He causes all things to work together for my good) and view my circumstances through that lens. Really, I just need a reminder that His chief goal for my life is not my happiness, and that I will have painful times as He conforms me to His purposes and plans for my life.
Tomorrow I start working with CEF of Greater St. Louis as a Summer Ministry Assistant (it sounds more important than it really is). I am unprepared in just about every way. I am so bone tired. My biggest concern is that I am not spiritually ready for a summer of ministry. I thought I had more time to prepare, but the beginning of May is here already. I bought a plant for my desk today, but I haven't prayed. Oh, so typical. Perhaps if you think about it you can pray that I will seek the Kingdom first and worry about how I look to others later (or not at all).
Tomorrow I start working with CEF of Greater St. Louis as a Summer Ministry Assistant (it sounds more important than it really is). I am unprepared in just about every way. I am so bone tired. My biggest concern is that I am not spiritually ready for a summer of ministry. I thought I had more time to prepare, but the beginning of May is here already. I bought a plant for my desk today, but I haven't prayed. Oh, so typical. Perhaps if you think about it you can pray that I will seek the Kingdom first and worry about how I look to others later (or not at all).
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