Make-shift

I've entered into another time of transition in my life. The transition into, if not full-time ministry, than fuller-time ministry. Confused? Me too. Actually, it's not that hard to understand, just a little hard to explain. My year with IMPACT has ended and now that God has led me to stay with CEF indefinitely (gulp!) I'll be raising full-time support for my full-time ministry with CEF in Little Rock.

I don't usually love times of change or transition, but this time is a little more enjoyable since the transition will take place "back home" in St. Louis. As I take a break from one aspect of the ministry to focus on another, I'm thankful that I get to spend it among my strongest support base here in Missouri.

Here is my make-shift office during this make-shift time in my life. My mother is so tolerant as I take over her kitchen table (and a little more) this fall.


I'm not sure how long I'll be here in St. Louis. I guess it depends on how long it takes to raise my support. I'm thinking at least until November. This is both positive and negative. On the downside, I miss my church family in Arkansas and I miss being apart of what God is doing among them right now, AND, although there is still CEF ministry going on in Little Rock, there is no new ministry being developed.

On the upside, I get to see the last few weeks of my little sister's pregnancy and will be here when my niece finally makes her debut. Another upside is the chance to share life with my family for another little while. Making dinner for my younger siblings, taking them on field trips, and hanging out with them are all highlights of this time of transition for me. Support raising can be stressful, and it's nice to be able to turn to my brothers and laugh and joke around with them when the stress level gets to be too high (they can also be a little distracting. I think I've developed adult ADD - I never used to be this antsy!). It's also nice to hang out with my church family here and even be involved in some ministry.

So, make-shift though it is, I'm digging this new providence of God in my life. Now if only I could get Joseph to be a little less crazy... :)

All the News Worth Hearing

Posting on this blog is so far down my to-do list I can hardly see it. However, since it gives me pleasure to write, and because I need to sort out my thoughts a little bit, I thought I would update today. Currently, this is all the news worth hearing in my life...

The target date for beginning my year of service in full-time ministry is August 17th. By then I will be ensconced in a big blue farmhouse somewhere near the city limits of Little Rock. Since I last gave a "real" update, my support level has increased by $10,000 thanks to a generous donation by CEF of East Texas. I am currently entrenched in the whole support raising process and it is progressing well. It is laughable to say I know God wants me in Little Rock with all the evidence to support this claim. I feel so unworthy of all that has been done on my behalf precisely because I have been dragging my feet throughout the whole process.

As I talked with a ministry represenative from CEF she commented on what an "enviable" position I am in within the ministry of CEF. I know it to my very core. I have unsuccessfully raised personal support and unsuccessfully taken myself off the field because of it. God has been gracious - more than I deserve or dared to imagine - in pursuing me for service in missions. Ministry has always been my heart, but I had wanted it to be outside the confines of full-time service. This is apparently not what God wants, and He has been so gracious in bringing me back, much like a prodigal, to the place He wants me to be. I have also found, like the prodigal, a fattened calf, and wide-open arms from my family in the ministry. These are all things I do not deserve.

Have I made that clear? My just desserts are not what I am receiving. I say this as much to remind myself as to share with you. I am slowly learning to serve Jesus, not so He will serve and love me, but because He already has served and loved me. I have had this backwards for most of my life. I do not know how long God intends for me to be in full-time ministry with CEF or any other organization, I only know that I cannot imagine spending my time on anything other than eternity.

Updates Galore!

I leave for CYIA training tomorrow morning, and although I am a bit frantic as I finish up last minute details, I thought it was time for an update. A week ago I received a phone call from CEF World Headquarters informing me that there had been a change in initial plans and that, in my case, the process from support raising had been greatly accelerated. Of course the story is more detailed than that, but I haven't the time, and you probably don't have the inclination to read every agonizing detail.

I've been in contact with the state coordinator of Arkansas, and the target date now is September 1st. I'm a little freaked out and have asked the Lord to reveal the big support raising "plan" He has for me. I subscribe to the George Muller method of raising support, which, more or less, is to make the opportunity known, and wait on the Lord to move the hearts of the people to give. I believe this is biblical, and God's will for me (which is not to say that other methods are not also biblical and that God may lead other people to other methods).

In the past few years God has allowed me to try this out, and to see His faithfulness displayed over and over again. It takes a lot of patience though. Oh, I believe God will supply, there is no question in my mind on that point, but the "when" drives me absolutely nuts (why, oh why, did I ever read George Muller's autobiography?! Ignorance is indeed bliss). It's good for me, however, because it allows me to see that I am not God, that I am dependent on Him for everything, and that I can do without a lot of things I really thought I needed. Basically, it exalts God's sovereignty and keeps me in my happy place.

Already I've seen this played out in regards to Little Rock. I've told people about the opportunity and have seen them step forward, with no solicitation on my part, and offer their support. This has greatly blessed me and seems to be confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction. But, three months to raise something over $20,000? It is, no doubt, very possible with God, but is this what He will do? I'm not sure, but I have begun to pray towards this date, along with the people in charge of the Little Rock project, and would welcome you to do the same.

Even though at this point I don't know how much longer I'll be in St. Louis, I do know I can't renew another year-long lease at the townhouse, so I'm moving back to my mom's house for the summer. It is a great blessing, to be sure, but I'm a little sad (okay, actually a lot sad) that I can't stay in my cozy little townhouse with my fantastic roommates. Last night my brothers and Aaron came over and packed up all of my worldly possessions, shoved them into my mom's van, and drove them off to storage. I didn't cry then, but later on, when I was alone in my now desolate room, I let the tears flow. Frankly, I am tired of moving all over creation and I wonder what lesson God is possibly trying to teach me in all of this.

Well, this post is running on. Quick run-down of my life right now: moving, CYIA, little sister's wedding smack in the middle of the two weeks of training, support raising for Little Rock, summer ministry in St. Louis. I'm busy, but I'm happy; this is a great time in life.