Better than Sons and Daughters

Last night I got to demonstrate my amazing auntie prowess and sit with my darling niece, Ivy, for a few hours. After her parents walked out the door I fed her, rocked her, and set her gently in her cradle for a nice little sleep...which lasted all of about twenty minutes before the other baby in the family, Mowgli the Dog, started barking his head off at the presence of an invisible intruder.


Needless to say I spent the rest of the time be-bopping around the Christmas tree with my not-quite-two month old niece mesmerized by the lights. I think she was less mesmerized, however, by my faulty renditions of several Christmas classics. "Have a holly jolly Christmas, it's the best time of the year, la la la, something, la..." was how it generally went. At the end of the two hours, I was happy to hand little Ivy off to her momma (mostly because it was feeding time), and her momma was happy to have her back. Yep, being an aunt is a pretty good gig.

This morning as I stood at the kitchen sink, pouring my coffee and shredded wheat (but not into the same container), I thought about how thankful I am that I'm not married. This probably sounds strange, because previous posts on this blog would indicate otherwise, but I really am most of the time thankful for the gift of singleness. I am becoming increasingly aware of the special gift that it is, and the advantages and disadvantages that come with it.

A week ago I had lunch with a group of people from my church and one friend and fellow single was talking about being a Isaiah 54 wife, that is, the Lord is your husband. Although I don't think there is anything wrong with a single woman, never-married or widowed, to cling to these verses for comfort, I've never been down with it myself, and in the last year or so, I've been enamored with a passage from Isaiah 56.

1 Thus says the LORD:
"Keep justice, and do righteousness,
for soon my salvation will come,
and my deliverance be revealed.
2 Blessed is the man who does this,
and the son of man who holds it fast,
who keeps the Sabbath, not profaning it,
and keeps his hand from doing any evil."
3 Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the LORD say,
"The LORD will surely separate me from his people";
and let not the eunuch say,
"Behold, I am a dry tree."
4 For thus says the LORD:
"To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths,
who choose the things that please me
and hold fast my covenant,
5 I will give in my house and within my walls
a monument and a name
better than sons and daughters;
I will give them an everlasting name
that shall not be cut off.

This passage really comforted me when I was making the decision to go back into full-time missions service. I was struggling because it felt like the death of my dreams - husband, children, home - and the taking on of a dream I wasn't really sure I wanted. At that time I was 100% certain that if I choose the mission field, I would be choosing singleness as well.

I'm not really sure that's the case (I know it certainly isn't for all missionaries), but most days it feels like I will be single all of my life. I still struggle to be okay with that reality, especially now when I'm in my late twenties and everyone around me seems to be dating, getting married, married, or having babies. I want all those things too, but I am learning to be content with what God has called me to in this season of my life, and singleness is becoming less of an unspeakable horror, and more of an honor.

And really, whether we're married or single, it's our duty to "choose the things that please Me", to choose to please the Lord in whatever state we find ourselves. I just happen to find myself in the state of singleness. However, that eunuch thing really speaks to me. To be unable at this time in my life to have physical sons and daughters, it comforts me to know that I am called to care for and nurture spiritual life in other people's sons and daughters (as are other singles. I'm not that special). And if I continue in this state of singleness all of my life (which would be okay), I still have a place in God's house, and a name that He calls me, which is better than sons and daughters ("still". In my messed up economy this life is still more important than that Life. Sigh. I'm working on it).

Better than sons and daughters. That's hard to believe when you're holding a warm baby in your arms and kissing their chubby cheeks, or when your BFF is dating an awesome guy (which mine is at the moment), or when scads (literally scads) of people even younger than you are standing at the altar with goofy looks in their eyes. Faith is a daily struggle, but a worth-it fight. And as I press into knowing more of the goodness of God, that name is looking better and better.

Postscript: I'm really thankful for older singles who show me what faithfulness to God within the gift of singleness really looks like. They don't shrug off the struggles of singleness, but neither do they let those struggles defeat them. They take that gift and they work it. They let God use them to their full capacities and they serve Him. They are beautiful pictures of fun, and laughter, and service, and grace. Especially to this young single who is still getting used to the "gift" and wants to know how to use it well. So, thanks. You all are some of my favorite people around.

Baby Ivy

Well, obviously I do not have a true blogger's heart because I've totally left you all out in the cold, as far as updating regularly goes. But perhaps the unexpectedness of my blog posts are what really keep you coming back for more anyway.

I'm feeling a little retrospective tonight, a little melancholy, and I'm tempted to write a rambling post all about my feelings. How horrifying is that prospect? But before you move onto a more interesting, less angst-filled blog, let me assure that that is not going to happen, at least not tonight. Tonight I've decided to introduce you to one of my new favorite people, Ivy.

Ive is my niece, and she made her debut six weeks ago tomorrow. Her birth was a much anticipated, much lauded event. We were at the hospital almost twenty-four hours waiting for her to arrive and it was worth every boring waiting room minute.

At seven on Sunday morning we were awakened by a phone call that alerted us to the emanate arrival and so the mom and littlest sister, Maggie, went with Jessie and Rich to the hospital, and Sarah and I followed a few hours later loaded down with reinforcements in the form of breakfast sandwiches and coffee (Starbucks, obviously).

We spent all day waiting around for Ivy and then as the sun set and other families vacated the waiting room we began the really long wait, the wait until dawn. It was rough. I vaguely remember a trip to a 24-Hour McDonald's for chicken nuggets and fries since we were all starving by the wee hours of the morning. After food we were sleepy.



But we did not sleep because we were too busy watching this door for Grandma (or Mamie as she is currently being referred to) to bust through and tell us that Ivy was finally here.



But no such luck and so about 3am things really started to get interesting. After various rides on the elevator, a trip to the nursery to see all the babies, and exhausting all the reading material to be had in the waiting room, we got creative. We plugged in our various iPods and MP3 players and got our dance on.

Public dancing? No problem for the Hulme clan, we are well-versed in public spectacle, believe me. So, we danced.



And laughed.



And watched for the nurses so they didn't catch us...and then danced some more.



Finally a few hours later Mamie did bust through those doors and we gathered around her camera to see pictures of newborn Ivy. And then a little while later we got to actually meet her in person.



I've never been more proud of my sister in my life. Birth is an amazing, painful process, and as the British would say, she was a real brick. My brother-in-law was also fantastic, even standing up to a not-so-nice doctor in the final stages of labor. Well done both of you.

This is Ivy today.



Fantastic, right (mad props to my friend Melanie Andrich for taking the above photograph. Love it!)? She is a bundle of kissable cheeks and big sometimes blue, sometimes green eyes. It is a pleasure to hold her and pray for her and love her. I am thankful for this good gift to my family, and can't wait for all those "firsts" that come along with the first grand baby, and of course, that ultimate first, when she meets Jesus as her Savior. I've been praying for that day since before she was born and I will continue to pray that our good God will one day answer that prayer and draw her to Himself. Amazing love, how can it be?

Auntie Jeanne loves you, Ivy.

Well, so a bit of a tear-jerker, right? Ah yes, the best of both worlds. And, of course, that's why you read my blog anyway... :)

The Magnet Family

As I'm adjusting to being back at home for the next few months I have the distinct feeling that I am somehow magnetized. Why? Because everywhere I go there they are. And by they I mean those delightful people I call my siblings. They are literally everywhere I go - asking me to take them somewhere, playing the guitar, chasing the cat, chasing the dogs, yelling at each other (we are in some serious need of sanctification around here), and opening and closing the refrigerator door which is annoyingly close to my "office".

Which brings me to the point that since my makeshift office has been dominating the kitchen table these past few weeks I thought that today I'd take the party downstairs. I set everything up on a card table, plugged in my laptop, and got out a pen. It was great for the first hour. By the second they were there again, as if a giant magnet that none of us could see was pulling us closer. Then it was me, sitting at the card table, surrounded by two brothers who were fighting, one who was playing a YouTube video at top volume, and a sister who was talking about Justin Bieber. Again. I think these kids need to go to public school.


Just kidding! Maybe private school. But seriously, I wouldn't trade my magnet family for anything.

Make-shift

I've entered into another time of transition in my life. The transition into, if not full-time ministry, than fuller-time ministry. Confused? Me too. Actually, it's not that hard to understand, just a little hard to explain. My year with IMPACT has ended and now that God has led me to stay with CEF indefinitely (gulp!) I'll be raising full-time support for my full-time ministry with CEF in Little Rock.

I don't usually love times of change or transition, but this time is a little more enjoyable since the transition will take place "back home" in St. Louis. As I take a break from one aspect of the ministry to focus on another, I'm thankful that I get to spend it among my strongest support base here in Missouri.

Here is my make-shift office during this make-shift time in my life. My mother is so tolerant as I take over her kitchen table (and a little more) this fall.


I'm not sure how long I'll be here in St. Louis. I guess it depends on how long it takes to raise my support. I'm thinking at least until November. This is both positive and negative. On the downside, I miss my church family in Arkansas and I miss being apart of what God is doing among them right now, AND, although there is still CEF ministry going on in Little Rock, there is no new ministry being developed.

On the upside, I get to see the last few weeks of my little sister's pregnancy and will be here when my niece finally makes her debut. Another upside is the chance to share life with my family for another little while. Making dinner for my younger siblings, taking them on field trips, and hanging out with them are all highlights of this time of transition for me. Support raising can be stressful, and it's nice to be able to turn to my brothers and laugh and joke around with them when the stress level gets to be too high (they can also be a little distracting. I think I've developed adult ADD - I never used to be this antsy!). It's also nice to hang out with my church family here and even be involved in some ministry.

So, make-shift though it is, I'm digging this new providence of God in my life. Now if only I could get Joseph to be a little less crazy... :)

I Miss...

I miss this...

...and this...

...and this and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and this...

...and yes, even this.

I am missing them all so, so much today! I can't wait to see them (and a few others) in a few weeks. God has given me such a tremendous gift in the shape of these nine people.

A Hulme Family Story

I spent last weekend with my family in Springfield.

We convened there in order to celebrate my little sister, Sarah's, birthday. I drove into Springfield tired and worn after my week in Little Rock and was met by my family who had already been there for several hours. My other little sister, Jessie, and her husband, the ever-accommodating Rich, recently moved to Springfield after their June wedding, and this was the first time we had all been there together. We had a great time of hanging out, eating delicious food, laughing, watching movies, and just being with each other, which is usually enough for all of us. We slept in late and then had brunch. After brunch, Rich suggested we all go to the park and play Ultimate Frisbee.

We stared at him in disbelief as one collective body of uncoordinated individuals.

My poor brother-in-law. He's such a great guy, very patient and loving and considerate, but he doesn't seem to know the Hulme family secret: we don't DO sports. Ever. I spoke up and said what a great idea, and let's do it! I, of course, was the last one ready to walk out the door. But walk out the door we did, armed with various frisbees and with our "game face" on.

As we pulled up to the park, we all noticed the playground. Swings!

Although our excitement for the game was momentarily overshadowed by the playground, we soon grew tired of that activity and began the game, which lasted for about ten minutes. I think the problem consisted in the fact that we didn't know how to play the game; "we" being the females of the family. Earlier, we had insisted that the game consist of boys against girls, and because the boys ultimately had no choice, that's how it ended up. Me, Jessie, Sarah, and Maggie, against Rich, Joel, Sam, and Joseph. I think another reason the game was so short-lived was because Rich is about two hundred feet taller than the rest of us. At one point I heard him say to Sam, "oh, let's just give them the point", this after the boys had scored three points and the girls still weren't sure which goal was ours.

It would have been funny if it weren't so sad.

The girls were the first to abandon ship. We straggled over to a tall tree and sprawled in it's plentiful shade. Rich and Sam (the most athletic Hulme) continued to toss the frisbee back and forth for a little while, but ultimately joined us, as did my mom and the dog, who had been off exploring the park grounds together. Jessie asked Rich if he was disappointed that we didn't play the game for very long (or very well, for that matter). Rich just smiled and said "I would have been disappointed if I had expected you to play".

Well, there you go.




The Hulme family, in all of our un-athletic glory. I still love us.

Goodbyes

This weekend's big event was my little sister's high school graduation. The St. Charles County Home Educators like to celebrate with not a little pomp and circumstance and the ceremony was quite serious. As you can imagine, about halfway through the festivities I got a little antsy and began a quest to make Sarah laugh as she sat among the fifty or so other graduates on stage. My mission was successful as I saw her hiding a smile behind her hand. Sarah and I are pictured below after she was officially deemed a high school graduate. Funny, I remember the day she was born!


Anyway, I guess I have to be a little more careful about my antics as one of the homeschooling moms at our church (and mother of one of this year's CYIAers) caught me in the hall in church on Sunday and told me she noticed my little show from her vantage point in the seat behind me. My only plea was the fact that everyone was way too serious and, for pity sakes', it was only high school, and also, didn't she think they had such a long way to go? She laughed and her husband beside her looked as if he quite agreed with me. I like them. They're from the East Coast.

I enjoyed my weekend way too much as today I am so tired my eyes hurt! I am, however, glad to be back to the routines of work. The pleasures of a long weekend would be greatly diminished if there was no work from which to rest! It was hard saying goodbye to a few of my kids this afternoon. Tomorrow is our last official day together, but some of them left the program today. A little kindergartner would not stop hugging me on her way out the door and I had to pry her off of me and tell her she must stop hugging me or "Miss Jeanne will start crying". Most of them know I won't be back next year and my ego is pleased that they all seem disappointed. I don't know how I got so attached to this particular set of kids so fast (or they to me), but I sure did.

Well, there is always more to be said but enough is a good as a feast. Goodnight!