A Book Review and More

Yesterday I finished reading a book by Michael Horton, host of the White Horse Inn and author of numerous books, entitled "The Law of Perfect Freedom: Relating to God and Others Through the Ten Commandments".

In this book Horton devotes a chapter to each of the Ten Commandments and works through how they related to Israel and how they relate to us as believers today. Each chapter is more encouraging than the last, and so of course the last chapter "Good News for Law-breakers", was the pinnacle.

I am a law-breaker. Even after my conversion, I still struggle daily with sin. It crouches at my door and tempts me to give over. I struggle because I know God has given me a new heart. Shouldn't it want to obey? Yet there are times, and whole seasons, when I am prone to sin, and sin, and sin. I delight in it! Of course, these are never happy times in my life. The Holy Spirit won't let up, and God never stops pursuing my heart so that I will find delight in Him and His will. But still, those times are there, and it bothers me. I start to wonder "maybe I'm not redeemed. Maybe I'm like the Pharisees, or like those in Matthew who are shocked that they are not in Christ in light of their good works and efforts for the Kingdom".

Horton alleviates those fears. As a Christian, I need the Cross now just as much as I did when I was first converted. The same sovereign grace that saved me, sanctifies me. And sanctification isn't MY work, but the work of Christ for me, in me, and upon me. As I tremble before the Law, that perfect standard reflecting God's own righteousness, I know I will never measure up. I come to God, not because of any good thing I do, but because of Christ. I come as a beggar, asking Him to consider Christ's perfect substitutionary death for sins on my behalf, and His perfect life of obedience lived in my place. As Horton points out, I am DECLARED righteous in His sight, even when I am so...not.

This morning I opened my eyes, and do you know, I felt no guilt. No guilt for prayers left unsaid, or Bible readings neglected. I woke up free of condemnation from all that I have done or failed to do. I am free in Christ from all my sins and free to pursue my joy in God. I am free to serve and love and glorify Him. Not so that He will bless me, or love me, or accept me - He has done all that in Christ - but because that's who I am now. I am a new creature with a new heart and new desires and a new Destination.

I should know this stuff already, right? It's amazing the difference when it goes from your head to your heart. It's amazing when what you know becomes what you walk in by faith. Horton's book was a good reminder of many things I already knew, and a good instructor on many things that I didn't. Of course I know that I am a new creature in Christ, that the new has come and the old has passed, but I continue to learn and apply so many things about Christ's death and resurrection that I never knew or realized before. His cross is my one boast because, whether in salvation or sanctification, it accomplishes what I can't.

Soli Deo gloria!

Progress

To honestly confess your sin and failure brings one to the point of despair time and again. Where can we flee when we know that we are "nothing else but sin"? To see the depth of your sin is a wonderful thing though. It makes the Gospel so glorious.

Yesterday in church we sang a hymn that brought tears to my eyes. I try so hard to get it right instead of resting in the finished work of Christ. Such arrogance on my part, such blindness to the beauty of Christ, but there is forgiveness.

"Thy work alone, O Christ,
Can ease this weight of sin
Thy blood alone O Lamb of God,
Can give me peace within.
Thy love to me O God,
Not mine, O Lord, to Thee
Can rid me of this dark unrest
And set my spirit free!"

- "Not What My Hands Have Done" by Horatius Bonar

I am a slow learner when it comes to all that it means to be "in Christ", but by God's grace I continue the journey. Such sweet progress, however slowly, to such a glorious Destination.

Struggle

Lately I've been wondering how to struggle honestly. How much is too much to share? Let me break it down for you: I don't get a lot of social interaction here. Besides my church and work-related functions (trainings and Good News Clubs) there's not a lot going on. I miss interacting with people. I come from a big family and a really tightly-knit group of friends who I am use to seeing every single day. When I talk with them on the phone it's just not the same. I must communicate! And for that purpose this blog was created.

I love to write, and I love to write about my own experiences, and what God is teaching me through them. I realize this is a very public forum. I realize this even more when I get messages from people saying they really liked that blog post on such-and-such and I think "darn. What the heck did I write? Do I really want them knowing all that?", etc.

I don't know about you, but I like to hear about the struggles other people are going through in life. I suspect there is a little of a voyeuristic nature in each of us, but that's really not the reason I want to know about other people's experiences. I don't want to look down on them or exalt that I am so much better then they (although in my weaker moments I can admit that those Pharisaical thoughts can pop up), I want to know that other people struggle too. I want to know that everything doesn't come easily for them, because it sure doesn't come easily for me.

However, being honest about your struggles can really open you up for some nasty consequences. After a particularly gut-wrenching blog post you start to wonder "I wonder what so-and-so thinks about me now? Do I measure up? Have I ruined their "good" opinion of me?", etc. Part of the reason I write this blog is to have a way to vent, encourage (hopefully), and examine my thoughts as they come out on the page (or computer screen). You might be thinking that if I really need to write that much I should just keep a journal. Well, I do. And if you think this stuff is hair-raising you should see what I write between those two covers!

I tend to know the right answers to the problems I'm facing. I know that sounded extremely proud and self-righteous, but for the most part I think we all know what we ought to do; the problem comes in the application. And I think that's what it means to honestly struggle. To say "hey, I know I ought to be doing this, but doing it is pretty hard right now. I'm having trouble with it. I'm struggling." It feels good to commiserate with someone in the same boat, but the point is not to stay there on the water, being tossed to and fro. I don't want to deny the boat and the waves, but I want to share with you my struggles as I am in the boat and on the waves and how Jesus is helping me out of it.

Too many nautical references? I couldn't agree with you more. So as I honestly struggle with issues, burdens, problems, frustrations, joys, and victories (you get the point), I pray that it is an encouragement to you. And I hope it points you to Jesus. I read recently that good preaching isn't filled with personal antidotes and funny jokes, but with Jesus from beginning to end, the gospel through and through. I'm afraid I would make a very bad pastor, as I love to share personal antidotes all the time. But hopefully you'll see more and more of Jesus as I point away from myself and towards Him. John the Baptist was a very admirable guy, he who coined the phrase "He must increase, but I must decrease". Oh, but even John the Baptist struggled.

I feel better already.